17 September 2008

The dead have arisen

It's funny how things in life work out....like when you are unemployed and you can't seem to find a job but when you finally get that call and you accept the job....you get all kinds of other job offers!?!? Like when you are single and everything is everything but the minute you decide to settle, everybody wants to confess their love for you. sad smileys It's wild, but it be like that sometimes. Like currently, I'm in the process of eliminating "dead weight"...people who are serving no real purpose in my life and are probably holding me back from happiness. So I've pulled back and not really reached out to certain individuals in a minute...and BAMMMMMMM....someone from my past resurfaced yesterday. He could fall into the dead weight category for real for real....but I NEVER let him truly fall into that place. WHY!?!?! I truly have no damn idea. I think he is my one true weakness. I can't seem to just take him completely out of my life no matter what. sick smileys I truly believe he will always be in MY loop...always be my friend....always be someone I am there for when I can be..and does he deserve it? Does he deserve to have me care this much?? To stand by and deal with the b.s. that I have had to endure these past few years? NO!!! I know this....denial is not even in this situation....because I KNOW for a fact that he is bad for me and bad for my life....but like a fiend to the crack pipe...I always go back..with open damn arms and I'm here. Don't get it twisted though...it is purely friendship and has been for quite some time. I'm not gonna front though, it's all love. Can't be no other explanation. winking smileys


K-TO said...

hey you follow my blog, thanks!

Don said...

How did you get your comment box to pop out like that? At first I was like, 'wtf?'

I was about to say that you are in love, until I got to the end of the post and saw where you finally admitted it.

Miss Toya said...

Yes it's love...but I think it's a crazy kinda love. I don't want to be with him. That's nothing but trouble...but I still know I'd do anything within my grasp for him, no matter what. The type of person I am, this whole situation surprises even me. I can't believe I am still around for him like I am after all the b.s. and drama.