21 March 2010

Life is what you make it.....

Life sure can deal you a hand sometimes that you can play so many ways and each one comes with its own set of consequences and outcomes that could impact so many other things. I tend to get these hands ALL of the time. I must say that most of the time, I feel as though I have chosen the right cards. I have thrown out the bad ones and laid them on the table before the game ended. Some cards I could've thrown out sooner than I chose to, but nonetheless they got thrown out. There have been times that I just stopped plucking cards from the deck. So used to the hand I was given and the cards I was used to holding, that I didn't want to take on anything "new". I soon figured out that in life, you have to take certain risks. You have to allow new cards to come into your hand otherwise you might miss out on the cards you need to win the game!

Right now, I'm not sure if I'm playing Spades, Deuces, Poker or what. I feels like I Declare War. Not sure if I should just quit the game or stick it out. The hand I have is stressing me out. Do I cheat the game? Do I keep the cards I have and wait it out? Do I just move on to another game that I'm more used to and that I know I can win? Do I sabotage the game? I'm at a crossroads on this one. I know what my "gut" is TRYING to tell me but there's still yet another voice that says something else.

NOTE: This "game" can be applied to alot of situations I am dealing with at the moment. So those who really KNOW me....don't assume you know which situation this is in reference to. ;-)

On another note, there are a few things irritating the hell out of me right now. One of which are people who will mooch off certain people but then won't do that with others. Like, if you wouldn't do this with your family or certain other friends...why do you think it's all good to do that *ish* with me? These people don't have a problem begging and asking you for this or that or to do this or that...but absolutely won't go to others for it and they are the ones you claim will do anything for you. Okay well take it to them. Also, what's good with these people who do *ish* for show. I guess it's another category to go along with internet gangsters and fake models and CEOs. People who act super nice and so into God or just plain extra when in reality they are doing the most ungodly of things. I don't claim to be a saint and I definitely won't PRETEND to be that way for anyone. I am who I am and God knows exactly what that means. I could definitely improve in plenty of areas and that's a work in progress, but you won't see me putting off a fake persona to cover up the "other" things that I do. There are some CONFUSED individuals walking amongst us. I will pray for them.

07 March 2010

Gotta do better

I really suck at keeping this blog updated. I'll set out to post at some point and never get back here. *smh* Ahhh well.

So the weekend has been pretty nice. No snow and plenty of sunshine. When I say that I am ready for Spring....you can't imagine how much. Time goes up an hour next weekend. I'm happy about that too. I don't sleep alot so this extra hour stuff is for the birds. I'm ready for longer days...more sunshine...more time to be productive before the sun goes down. Yesssiiirrr! I am just ready to start really enjoying life without a big coat, scarf, gloves, boots, etc. *rolls eyes*

Right now, I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Been dealing with alot of stress for all different kinds of angles. Work, personal issues, relationship issues, life issues.....it's like when it rains it definitely poors. Felt like I was hit with a tsunami wave of pure drama for a minute. Things are getting better in most areas. I am definitely happy about that. I am trying to plan a few outtings and trips to "get away". It's long overdue and very much deserved.

My other half is in NY right now. Thought I wouldn't really miss him as much as I do. I think you get used to certain things and when it's quiet...it's just weird. I think I miss my nerves being plucked. LOL. I'm used to our fake beefin' and constant checking of one another. It's strange but that's just how we roll. Could I be falling head over heels? The jury is still out on that one. I'm not quick to jump on the Love Boat. So we will just see how things play out. That's my boo though...regardless of our simple petty issues. Better that then the major drama that others go through I guess.