13 September 2010

I'm done with school....so quit testing me!!

Why do people who KNOW you and how you feel about certain things insist on doing them to you or around you? I mean seriously.... this gets on my nerves. Especially those who AGREE that these things are annoying, stupid, wrong...etc. If you know I hate having my time wasted, then DO NOT do it. If you know I don't like finding things out from other sources instead of you directly, then stop tryna hide *ish*. If I hate being late.....quit causing me to be EXTREMELY late. Especially when I've already had to LIE about the time in the first place. LOL I just don't get it. I've been re-evaluating the level of my relationship with alot of people in my life and I see that alot of downgrades are in order. People that I actually thought were friends have been downgraded. Some that I never realized just how loyal and respectful and trustworthy they truly are....have been bumped up a level. Dead weights.....well they are removed immediately...so those aren't even in the equation. I've never been a loner. I don't like to do things solo (well it all depends....) Some things are just more fun and meaningful when you have someone else there to share the experience....but I see that a few individuals have just been along for the ride. Not adding any value to the relationship/friendship.

I am so grateful for my TRUE ride or die friends. I can count them on ONE hand. Real talk. I think I'm fortunate to have more than 1 or 2. I have always been one of those chicks that had more male friends than female friends.....and we all say the same ol' thing...I just get along with guys better. My mentality and reason just doesn't seem to flow well with the average chick. I don't know....and more and more I am proven right. The same gripes that most guys have about females. ... I have. I can't deal with the petty b.s. The jealousy issues. The plan ol' CRAZY crap that always comes up. Hey, I admit..I am moody but my moods are this....fun and exciting or I just don't really want to be bothered with. Not emotional and clingy and psycho and the list goes on. People assume things about me pre-meeting me...and I know it. For one..I don't smile alot unless I'm acting a fool. I am REAL and honest....and I speak my mind. To some...this totally makes me a B***H. Okay, whatever. But the same things that make those "strangers" think that about me are the same things my TRUE friends love and respect about me. They know I have their backs and won't just stand for any outsiders dragging them or their name thru the mud. I appreciate those who I can say would do the same for me. But real talk...I'm sick of being tested. People are getting better and better at faking the funk. Their true personas aren't showing up until a great deal of time has passed. Watch out for these frauds. They are out there in FULL FORCE!!!! You've been warned.

I am trying to change some aspects of me. Change is good sometimes....good change that is. However, these 'tests' are starting to take me back to a place that I have tried not to return to. I just hope I can stay away. It won't be pretty. Feelings will be hurt....and truly.....the old me...could care less about feelings when lines have been crossed over here.

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