04 September 2010

A Closed Mouth Doesn't Get Fed

I remember when I used to hold my tongue. Used to allow people to get to me and hold it all in within letting it be known that I feel a certain type of way about what someone has said or done to me. Those days are pretty much long gone. I think I've grown to be quite outspoken. I tend to verbalize things more than alot of my friends. I feel as though a TRUE friend will respect you for letting them know how you feel about something or for providing a totally accurate and honest opinion on something..especially when you have been asked. I know I feel that way. I respect my FRIENDS and I appreciate their thoughts and opinions. I don't have to do what they suggest or change my way of thinking, but being given another perspective on things is often times a good deal. Having someone looking in from the outside to provide insight is very important. Usually this is an unbiased opinion. Some people can't handle the truth. They prefer a sugarcoated opinion to spare their feelings. Sugarcoating to me is like telling a "little white lie". It might seem okay and that it does no wrong but it's not being 100% real in my opinion.

On the other side of this, I'm not really one to openly express things that I am going through. This is something that I have been working on and is still a work in progress. I know WHY I've usually internalized all of my stresses and times or turmoil. It sometimes feels easier just to deal and not let anybody else in. Certain situations seem better left hidden as to avoid them being used against you in the future. Some are so personal that you wonder who can you REALLY trust with the information. There are so many reasons for thinking that holding things in is the best option. Reality of it all.....it's really not a good idea. Nobody can help you if they don't know you are going through something. You don't know if anybody can help out, if you don't share the problems. Finding someone who is genuine and that seriously cares about you is the real issue. I can say that I have a FEW people that I know I can trust with my life, my emotions, my secrets, my possessions,...and the list goes on. That are there when I need them no matter what. Who know without a word from me that something just isn't right. Although we don't hang out or talk as much as we have in the past, I still know that I can depend on them to be there even if it's just to listen to me discuss something that's happened, to vent, or to get another point of view.

Communication is a major ingredient for any HEALTHY relationship. Family, friends, significant others.....you must TALK things out. How can you expect change or a compromise when you don't discuss that issue? You can't!!! Plain and simple.


Anonymous said...

I can totally relate with this. The older I get the more I realise who my real friends are! Communication is a big thing and I think everyone in the world needs to improve on it in some way or another.
- Nadine xo

Amalia Mas'ad said...

Hi darla, I'm starting out a new blog here at http://amaliamasad.blogspot.com/. Follow me and I'll definitely folloow you back :) Thank you

Stan said...

You'll find that this will always change over time. Some times people outgrow each other, and there is often no warning. Suddenly, a friend never calls anymore, or never comes out. Or you find yourself listening to your voic email and saying "not them again..."

You're right that communication is key, even if its not what you want to hear!

Steve said...


I used to be the type that would be walked over and I would keep quiet about it. These days, as I have got older, I voice my opinions and thoughts, no matter who. At work some see me as a moaner, but all I do is say my bit. They dont always like people who will stand up for themselves. They would rather have yes men, so to speak.