18 September 2014

What About Your Friends

Everybody has their own idea of what being a friend is.   Everybody has their own requirements.  Some seem way far fetched to me but hey, different strokes for different folks.  My idea of a friend is someone who is available when needed (keyword is NEEDED).  It's not necessary for me to talk to him/her 24 hrs a day or to hear from them daily.  If you about your business, have a personal life, etc...then you should not have time to be in contact all day every day.  I understand that life gets in the way, however, if something goes down and a shoulder to lean on is needed  or a venting session is required, then this person should be there.   Social Media is killing friendships. Why!? Because people think likes and comments and other BS validate friendship.  WRONG!  

Another point of a friendship is knowing wholeheartedly that you can TRUST this person.  I should be able to tell you ANY and EVERY little thing and not feel judged.  A personal opinion can be given and is appreciated, but understood that that is THEIR opinion or plan and that I might listen to it but not follow it.  Differences are great and often times bring people together as friends.  They just have to be respected and understood.   Not all of my friends are unemotional like me, in fact, most aren't.   Some of my friends are fashion bugs and name brand "whores" (I use this term NOT in the true sense), meanwhile I'm pretty plain Jane and could care less about a name brand to be honest.  I'm a tech junkie, so I'll take a new cell phone over a Coach wallet or a tablet over a Michael Kors purse.  LOL    That's just me.   Do you and I'll do me!  Just don't ask my opinion when I say you are crazy for paying $400 for a purse if you don't want my blunt and honest answer.   Blunt and honest is what I do best.

Sometimes is a fine line between time and distance with friends.   If you are putting forth all efforts, then it seems kind of one sided and as if there is an issue that is not being brought forth.  Especially when nothing has happened that should bring any friction.   I typically just take it as somebody doing their own thing and just needing their own time, but on the other hand if at some point it feels strange, I'll just flat out ask. If the response is nothing, then hey I take it as it is.  Proceed with life because a friend would be straight up and honest if there is something they are dealing with or if they are in their feelings about something.   I've found that half the time the "issue" isn't even an issue, but a total misunderstanding .  I've been there so many times.  What you think someone meant or said or heard isn't even correct.  You just have to KNOW the ins and outs of a person.   To be a FRIEND this is a must anyway.   You have to know a person 100%.    That's the thing....only my TRUE friends know me.  I'm not one to let people in easily and especially not into the vulnerable parts of me.  There's so much that so many people don't even know and if they did, they'd understand me so much more....but I'm guarded for so many reasons but I'm thankful for the handful who have managed to break down the walls and see the TRUE me!  Who understand and accept me completely!   They aren't just friends...to me they are family!  

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