29 November 2012

Being strong has pros and cons

Being a strong person comes with it's downfalls. Some people don't know how to react when you are really going through something or feeling a certain way and ACTUAL share these thoughts, feelings, experiences. Some people can't take you serious at all. I have fallen into this situation way too often recently. I have a few people who know all my struggles and have definitely kept me sane more times than I can count...but there are way more who only know bits and pieces. There's so much more to my story and my strength than most know. Do I usually keep my guard up...yep! Do I tend to put a gate/fence/wall up around my feelings..yep! Have I gotten better...YES..way better but the end result unfortunately has been the results I have wanted to avoid and thus put me back into that place of why even bother. Nothing worse than being on the same page (or so you think) with someone and then finding out you are in two different versions of the same freakin' book. UGHHHH Mutual understandings and thoughts on something...yet ____________ nothing! So despite the attempts to open up.......I think it's safe to say...I'll keep up the gate but actually put a locked entrance...very few will gain entry...that's for sure. It's like how do you get advice and support when you are always the one giving it to others. Taking your own advice doesn't really provide much comfort...because your advice was to "open up" in the first place. *SIGH* Life....one day at a time. No turning back. Eye on the prize. Yea all that "sounds" good....but at the end of the day....it feels like sh** even to the strongest person. Thank God for a BFF that steps in with the greatest advice and set of ears no matter the issue..the time..or the day. Whether it's been hours..days..or months since we last spoke. He knew what he was doing when he brought us back together. In due time.......

No comments: