13 February 2013

Still alive and well...

So I haven't blogged in a minute. Been quite busy. Celebrated my birthday pretty much all of January so I was away living life. 2013 has been interesting thus far, to say the least. Already learned quite a few lessons and reaffirmed my beliefs in other things that I already know. When people show you who they are...believe it. Never been one to have blinders on....I just sometimes tend to TRY to give the benefit of the doubt (not as much as most others) but clearly I have to reduce that even further. People are a TRIP!!!! There's been alot weighing heavy on my mind lately. I've always been pretty private when it comes to really really deep things. Not one of much emotion, I've never been really open about the worst of the worst when it comes to me. Always being the EAR for others....I tend to not really open up about my deepest and darkest of thoughts. Very few know my entire struggle. My ups and downs. My experiences. What has made me the person they've grown to know and probably not exactly understand. Yes I have a few people that I can clearly confide in..and I have but it's like I have certain people who know some things and others who know others. Only 1 or 2 actually know pretty much all I deal with mentally...emotionally. I don't know how healthy that is...but I guess it's better than having nobody at all. Life is just funny sometimes....the way things fall into place. People come and go..and some come back again. Things you didn't notice before...feelings you never paid attention to...feelings you THOUGHT you had. Crazy how it all works! I'm taking it all one day at a time. Hopefully my mind will be clear soon. I need a vacation. That's a start. Some time away from the familiar and same ol' same ol' surroundings that only add to my frustration and stress. It's time for a serious CHANGE. New experiences..new people. Something has to give!

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