02 January 2017

Goodbye 2016...it's been real!

Every year this is a blog post that I actually remember to do. The synopsis of the previous year. Well, 2016 was a pretty decent year for the most part. In comparison to the years prior....I gotta say it wasn't that bad on a very personal level. It was a year of loss for a lot of people close to me though so that sucked. I can say that this was a year of growth for me. Not like maturity but just moving on from certain situations and people. I made this post to Facebook on yesterday and this list could've gone on and on but I figured I'd just keep it to the Top 10: 10 Things I learned in 2016....1) I'm getting softer with age (in some aspects) 2) I give way more than I get in return (mostly my TIME), but that's life 3) Misery loves company and clearly I'm a loner because I don't have time 4) You can talk/deal with people EVERY day and still not know them 5) I got some REAL ONES on my team and I know who they are 6) Happiness looks good on me 7) More people say that they want the truth than can actually handle it 8) A private life is INDEED a happIER life 9) My patience (well lack of) is getting WORSE 10) lastly..be true to ME! Those who really care appreciate and love me for being exactly who I am. I had an emotional year. Ups and downs every which way but I learned many valuable lessons. Despite what people THINK about me I'm super giving and supportive of others but I've felt and seen that it's not necessarily reciprocated but yea you don't do things for people FOR the reward...yea yea...yadda yadda. The thing is, it feels good to have someone be there and look out for you and be there for you in the same capacity that you have and/or will for them. I say it all the time...I give what I expect back. Honesty included. I can't and will not sugarcoat so if you don't want the truth then I'm not the friend for you. It's not easy for me to sit back and watch the downfall of somebody when I feel as though I can help because I can SEE it coming. It's a gift. I swear it is to know what people are REALLY about. Some people are so naive and I hate to see naive people getting used and I am aware. I can't sit back...sorry and I wouldn't want any of my FRIENDS to sit back either. TELL ME what's up. I have never really been a real OPEN person to begin with. I keep my thoughts, hurts, situations, problems to myself for the most part. There are a very very limited few that allow to really really know what's good with me. I'm BETTER than probably 5+ years ago when I was borderline depressed and hid it from the world. Trying to stay busy to keep my mind off the troubles and thoughts of disappointment and unhappiness. Now I've opened up more but at the same time by the end of 2016 I started to hold back again. Not problems but just about my moves and life in general. Things just FEEL better! Life isn't perfect, there is always some BS lurking in the shadows but it's amazing what time can reveal and do. I had lots of fun in 2016 and I plan to continue to enjoy life as much as possiby in 2017 and beyond. Tomorrow isn't promised. 2016 showed that! Here today, gone tomorrow! No regrets...living life to the fullest. Cherishing those who are near and dear to my heart and letting those that I do love..KNOW IT and not just by actions but telling them and vice versa. 2017 will be for working on relationships/friendships. Visiting and reconnecting with people who we just keep saying we will link up and it doesn't ever happen. What happens when it's too late??? You can't get back that time you wasted. I just gotta do better. I can't help what others do..I can only control me and my own moves. I have to make adjustments though. Too much efforts to others who don't deserve it. Actually letting people and things bother me that I have to learn to just "not care" about I guess. That's not easy when you always want to LOOK out for everybody, but I gotta use those same thoughts and resources to look out for ME!!!! Not too many others are doing it...so hey...let me look out for me! It's cool...circle got smaller in one aspect but gained new "family" at the same time. I asked for CLARITY from the SOURCE (GOD) over the summer on certain situations and people. I asked that anything not for me be removed and if it's for me reveal it to my heart and mind and my how things changed. I "saw" everything I needed to see. Clearer than ever. 20/20 for the first time and blinders off. Things that I was concerned and unsure about soon changed for the better. Everything is a work in progress....just gotta keep working on it and at it and it turns out exactly how it's meant to. My #1 priority this year is ME and MINE. This is MY year and I'll grab it by the horns even if I have to do it all by myself...but I know I got some riders on my team who will be right by my side.

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