22 December 2010

End of the Year Wrap Up

So what do I have to say about 2010...personally it was a pretty good year for the most part. Every year seems to start a bit shaky for me and then level itself out and then toward the end of the year...more b.s. Maybe it's just the holidays. Who knows. I've learned alot about myself and even more about the people who have been around me. Some who WERE a part of my circle I guess you could say, some who ARE now in the circle, and some who just didn't make the cut. I've grown and changed alot in these 356 days. I've opened up more to the people close to me. I've done things I needed to do and wanted to do but made excuses for not doing them or just never had the motivation to do it. I've had alot of fun times in 2010. I can definitely say that. But with the good there is always some bad....for the new friendships and relationships came the dismissed friendships and relationship. There were stressful times that I never thought I'd get over. There was my accident in August in which I thought my car was totaled which would've been more drama that I needed at that time. Thankfully it wasn't..just $5000+ in damage. *sigh* But hey, that's what insurance is for. I seen people close to me lose their lives at a time most deem too soon. My cousin was almost one of them but thankfully God spared her and she is recovering at lightning speed. She's still here and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for that or my own waking up to see another day.

Not only did 2010 provide me plenty of answers to things, but it also added to my confusion about certain other things. Just when I think I have it all figured out, something new rears it little head. Intuition kicks in. Curiosity springs up. More questions....less answers. I just go with the flow...that's all I can do. What's going to be will be. One thing I do not do...is dwell on things. No longer will I stress over the impossible, the unimaginable, the unthinkable, or the unknown. People are going to do what they want to do, when they want to do them. It would definitely be nice to have a clear answer and understanding to others motives and what they want....but sometimes it just doesn't happen like that. But hey...what can you do??? I'm going to do the only thing I can do... LIVE TOYA'S LIFE!!! Nobody else can...

I'm thinking 2011 will be a good one. No scratch that....I'm CLAIMING a good year in 2011. More fun..more family time...and most importantly..more doing things for me, myself, and I. I have neglected myself long enough to do for others. I'll still help those that I can when I can, but I have to do more looking out for me. I deserve it. I can always depend on me!

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