What is REALLY up with people these days!?!?

So it's been a minute and a few things have taken place. I had a super lucky streak a couple of weeks ago. Started with a phone race with me and my partner in crime, which ended with me winning a pair of Steve Harvey tix. WOOHOOO! The next day, I get a call from the station and I'm thinking "oh, I must've won the GRAND prize...to go backstage with Steve"...nope....incorrect. I won the Dewmocracy Sweepstakes they had been running on the website for a few weeks. I entered like 2 days in a row ( you could do it daily), and I won a new Dell Laptop. I was excited and then I was like "oh snap...I just won something yesterday, they not gonna let me get both"...incorrect again. Me, being the honest person that I am, called back up there to talk to homegirl and before I get my confession out, she stops me and says that she already knows that I won via phone yesterday and that it was all good. She makes the final call on things like this and because one was a call-in win and the other was a sweepstakes, I was good. STR8!!!....BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT I go in to get my tix b4 she goes away for a few days and NO tickets are there. I'm like wtf??! Here goes the drama. I fill out my paperwork and find out that Pepsi will be contacting me via phone (oh great...now I have to answer all the telemarketers calls JUST IN CASE it's Pepsi). Well luckily they didn't call my house, they actually called my cell phone and they called on that next day..the Friday while I was at work. Got everything squared away (although they had my Email address WRONG, my name spelled WRONG, and my zip code WRONG). I chose a pink laptop. That is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not me. But I figured white would get dirty and tore up in no time and blue...well that's a lil too boy-ish for my taste. So pink it is. This has to be the end of my "lucky streak". Guess what? WRONG AGAIN! I get a call from Mr. (Solomon) Wise @ 7:19pm on Friday. I am out..chillin with Jigga and Mom Dukes in the front yard and I get a call on my cell phone from a Restricted #. Immediately my guard goes up...like okay..here goes some b***h who thinks I want her man and he probably lying saying he single and I don't even want him off jump ( BEEN THERE!! DONE THAT!!!) so I am ready to POUNCE!! Then I think, nah it's my cousin, last time she called her # was showing RESTRICTED and she told me it would because she got a # change and what not. So I answer and to my surprise, it is Mr Wise. I'm thrown SOOOOOOOOOOO off guard...like what is REALLYYYYYYYYY good. I have no words. I have all of a minute and 30 seconds to say whateva and I can't get nothin out but "what are you working on now!!???" HAHAHAH...so many things come to mind NOW and probably 5 seconds after the hang up. But I didn't seem like a stuttering confused groupie either. I did hold a conversation. It's like getting a call from the guy at the club that you thought was SOOOOOOOOO fine and he asked for ur #. Then he finally calls and u with your girlfriends chillin...u just excited but have NOT A SINGLE TOPIC TO SPEAK ON. :-) It started my weekend out right. Now I gotta wait a couple of weeks for the laptop to arrive. SIDE NOTE: I'm so sick of people asking me if I want to sell it. HELLLLLLLLLLLO??? Why would I sell a BRAND, NEW FREE LAPTOP..times not that damn hard. I might sell my old one..but not the new joint. Come on now!!!

Now....moving along to closer days. So I been chillin really. Work just been hectic and crazy for various reasons. WOW....health scares, thefts, attitudes, stupid *ish*. Hey, that's the BL for you. Real life soap opera. But outside of work, I just been grindin'. I haven't been clubbin'. That's typical for me this time of year. I ain't really mad about it. As long as I still do my one outting a month thing, then I'm good. I went to the movies a couple of weekends ago and house sat for my brotha. That was a fun and relaxing weekend I must say. A break from the norm. Got away from the house for a night. Me and Jigga just packed up and dipped. We both were worn the heck out though.

I've realized that for more individuals..it's time to change their 'status' in my life. Dead weights who aren't going anywhere. Like tryna get a $1 out of 15 cents. If it ain't there, it ain't there. They know it and I know it...okay, maybe they don't know it. But I do. The nice guy (well girl) routine I TRIED to implement in `08, just isn't working in some cases. I can at least say I tried. I don't have the patience for some of this stuff. Never will. I got that from my daddy. LOL I'm ready for a change. A big change...some know what I mean and others probably don't even have a clue. The question is...who do I take with me for this big change in my life!?!? That is still up to the jury and the biggest judge of all to decide (and I am not referring to myself).

The World Around Me...

So right now I'm bored out of my mind. Being bored leads to me doing one of several things:

1) Cleaning up
2) Being online
3) Sleeping (which I rarely do)
4) Being creative
5) Blogging because my mind is working overtime


Well today I have now done 4 of the 5. #4 has yet to kick in, but the night isn't over. Maybe I'll make some graphics or something a bit later. But right now, I'm here to speak on a few things going on in my head right about now. Where do I start though!?! Maybe my lack of loving V-A right now. I am in such a serious need of a vacation. A real one. Not this bullshit I've taken this week. I was off 3 out of the 5 work days and I didn't do anything in the form of entertainment. Wasted time!?!? Not really, can't say I got rest either because regardless of if I work or not, I wake up mad early. I did, however, sleep a bulk of the day on the 4th. I slept from around 5pm to 10 pm. Then I was up til 3 a.m. Saturday morning and woke up again at 7 a.m. How NOT surprising of me and my sleeping habits. So a vacation, one that requires leaving the area code would be some serious therapy right now. I did go to Kings Dominion last weekend, but that was a joke in itself. Way too hot and way too many people. I arrived at 11 a.m. and was back home by 3 p.m. I did run into one of my exes that I haven't seen since we were together and haven't talked to in a minute. It was good seeing him. Maybe we'll get back in touch (and no I don't mean in the hopes of a reunion in the form of a relationship)..unlike most, I am still friends with 95% of my exes. Weird..I know...but that's because most of my relationships have been mutually ended or have ended on a positive note. So that reunion was definitely a shock, since he lives in NC.

This weekend is the weekend that I was asked to take a trip of sorts with a certain someone. HAHAHAHAAH Another joke. I can only imagine the drama that would await my arrival on that one. If not that, the drama that would follow once I returned back to VA. I'll pass. And to tell me about the situation a friend had going on on this very same trip that is OHHHH so similar to the b.s. going on with this person, cracks me up. This whole scenerio is getting old. Time to fess up to what I Know....but I have to do it right and at the right moment to get the best ending effect. Everytime I think about the time and efforts made for this person and to know that a bulk of this time was built around lies...it makes me ill.

I think I need to start back writing on a regular. It seems to help me cope with alot of things that I am going through, dealing with, or feeling at that time. My next subject will be that based on a relationship with a certain guy who has been in my life for a longgggggggggggggg time. There has been breaks in between but we've always seemed to find one another again someway and somehow. This last break was very long and I thought maybe this was it, but it wasn't. Recently he opened up to me and told me some very deep stuff and then felt bad about telling me, thinking it would change things. Well unlike alot of immature and ignorant people, I tend to grow closer to someone who can open up and let me into their inner most feelings and thoughts. I myself am not that open, but when I feel close enough to someone that I feel the need and/or desire to spill my heart out to them, it says ALOT. Too many times has this been taken for granted. I always say the truth hurts, but it's the right thing to do. The saying that it's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you aren't...is beyond true. I've come to realize that alot of people are quick to tell you that they will always be there for you and all this, because it's something conditioned into people's heads to say...but when the chips fall down, we all see that there are very few genuine people who truly stick around through thick and thin. I value those friends who have stuck by me through some of my most TRYING times. Times that many of my close friends still weren't allowed in on, not because I didn't trust them, but because it really didn't deal with anything that I felt they could help me with. It kinda makes no sense looking from the outside, but it makes alot of sense from the inside.

I also need to re-think this whole super OPEN MINDED TOYA phase. It's really not what it's cracked up to be and it's way harder than I thought. I am really breaking down some of my own desires and wants and I think I'm allowing myself to 'settle' once again for things that in the long run, aren't going to work out because I know deep down, it's not something for me. Some things...maybe...but others...no way! Might as well face the facts.

So I feel an insomnia night coming on...it's all these thoughts running through my head like freight trains. Thoughts like "I'm hungry", "Why is Jigga so scared of flies now!!?!?", "What am I gonna do tomorrow?" ,"Do I REALLY want to get a new car??", "Why do people say they wanna hang out and then when you offer...NOTHING", "why did I sign up for 4 free voicemail #s"? LOL And why have I been watching "Animal Cops" constantly for like a week now??? Just random thoughts...running through my head!! It's gonna be a long night...and I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow...but until then...it's a wrap on this entry!!!