Just an illusion

Some things are clearly not what they seem to be. It's just an interpretation of what you THINK you are seeing. This can be applied to actual events/people/words and the list goes on. Personally, I am speaking about people. You should definitely never judge a book by it's cover. But then you also can't always go by what you encounter with someone in the beginning as being what they are really about. There are definitely some wolves in sheep clothing running around causing havoc. On the other side, you just never know where you will find that "one" or a very good friend. It might not always be how and where you would think. I think my closest friends are probably people that I never thought would be in my life for more than a season or during a period of employment at a certain job, but instead they have grown to be my rocks, my entertainment, my own personal journals that I can tell all my secrets. It's crazy how life works. "Love" definitely doesn't always come in the package that you think it will. If you wait around for the exact size, shape, and wrapping for this package , you just might miss out on the best thing you could ever have. I am so glad I am open minded and not super petty/picky when it comes to certain things...I would probably have missed out on what I have right now. Someone who cares for me unconditionally....excepts me flaws and all (Lord knows I got em...). That deals with my moods and attitude and unemotional self wholeheartedly. If the shoe were on the other foot, I'd probably throw the towel in with me. LOL I've also picked up a few great friends lately. Good vibes flowing...no trickery or phony individuals. I'm so ready for what 2010 has to offer. Despite being sick as the year was brought in....I have faith that it will be a good one and I plan to make the most of it.

Hi Ho Hi Ho..it's off to work I go...

Back to work today. Felt strange. Like it was my first day on a new job. I've been there 5 years so that is definitely not the case. My day started out busy...steady but fine and ended up hectic/stressful and with a headache. It's all good. I can take it! One day at a time! Wooosahhhh! Going to be hard getting back in the swing of full 5 day work weeks since I haven't had one of those in almost 2 months. :-\

My bday is next Tuesday. Can't wait....I slacked on the plans being made hella early this time. This weather in V-A is so shady it's hard to plan anything. I didn't go above and beyond last year like I try to do every year..but I'll have fun nonetheless. I'll be surrounded by the people I love for 2 days and I have a 3 day weekend. So I'm good.

If you've been keeping up with my posts, then there's no super update on Jigga. He's still having seizures. He went from every 2 weeks 1 seizure in the beginning when they started to now he is on 2 medicines and they come a month apart and he has 1 every day for 3 days in a row. Is that better? To me....no! As I type it has been a month and a week. Not a serious milestone because the longest he's gone is a month + 1 week + a day seizure free. I'm hoping that the new medicine (potassium bromide) is in his system well enough now to make a difference. He's maxed out with the pills and they up them anymore but the liquid he has some serious room to play. *fingers crossed* He has gained weight from the meds since 1) he has to eat with the medicine 2) it makes him eat more 3) it causes weight gain. He's 11 lbs. You can't tell unless you saw him smaller, but they say technically he is obese. *side eye* Still looks teeny to me. He just grew into his long legs and his head still the size of a baby apple. HA! Hopefully I'll be able to report the lack of seizures for the next few posts.

Oh yea..before I dip out....this is the update of my list from 2009:

1) a great two day 30th Birthday celebration


2) being in DC for the Presidential Inauguration


3) going to NY to visit the other fam I have up there


4) getting out and doing more fun stuff (less clubbin' more....something else!!)


5) taking a vacation, or 2, or 3


6) settling down *gasp* ....we'll see about this one


7) reaching that 5 year mark at my job. That is an ABSOLUTE first for me... 2.5 years is usually my max @ a place of employment ** UPDATE ** not there yet.. 4 months and 2 days to go!!!


8) a new whip -- this is kinda TOP priority!!

9) Head to the beach in June for my homegirl's bday

10) Go against the grain and see what's good with "him"! -- FAIL!! NOTHING WAS GOOD

11) Write more - the poems clear my mind -- wrote some but not as much as I wanted to

12) Get another part time gig....technically I have 2 side gigs..but yea...I need #3



I didn't do TOO bad! :-)

On To The Next One.....

This post is not about the new Jay Z video either. I have seen it and find it quite strange but hey..it's Jay...expect anything. Now all the Devil worshiping assumptions are on Code Red levels all over the internet. *shrugs* If he does...ahh well. Anywho, my title of this entry is of course about the new year. 2010 is here and I'm glad to be here to see it. 2009 was not so good but not one of the worst for me personally. Nowhere near the drama and emotional drainage as 1997 and 2007 caused. Hollywood lost alot of people last year. It didn't "pay" to be famous. Both young and old, big names and D listers had their lives taken away in one way or another. It was just all so crazy.


So I need to go back to my 2009 list of goals/achievements list I posted and update it some more. See what I actually did that I said I was going to do. Since I don't do resolutions, I just strive to be a better me that's really all I plan to work the most on. There are some things I did have on last year's list that I definitely need to work on this year. Main goal....to take a vacation. A true one. One that takes me from work for a week. I haven't had a true vacation since 1997. Yea....13 years!! WTF!?!?!?! Yea..def. gonna work on that.