The One That Got Away

Ever have a time in your life when you must decide between this or that? Whether it be an outfit, a destination, a job, a plan, a person. We all have. And how often do we think we just might have chosen the WRONG one. Didn't think things through completely!?! Yea yea...I know..everything happens for a reason...so if you were MEANT to make that choice or what not then that's what would have went down. YADDA YADDA YADDA. And yea I know if it's meant to be it'll come back around....okay so what if it does? And you STILL let it slip away!?! I can say I've been there and done that. All the what ifs, could've, should've, would've BS always rings back. Thinking about how different life might be had this occurred or had I said this or done things this way. Yet I realize..it is what it freakin' is. And can't beat myself up for passing up what I THINK just might have been an opportunity for something better...greater....SUPER!!! Sometimes we fail to look at the bigger picture though. The lessons we would not have learned had things turned out another way. The people we would not have met along the way had we dealt with the "other person". Life is amazing..it's tough...not doubt it's a bitch!!! But hey we all gotta live it...ONE DAY AT A TIME! I realize I've made the choices I've made in life for one reason or another. Not for others but for me...and although I can say some of those I've kinda had a little regret about. It's no point in dwelling on those decisions nor the past. What's meant for me will happen...not when I am ready for it to happen but whenever it's supposed to happen. I'm ready for it...whatever it is. I just hope it's ready for me!! :-) I know what I WANT out of life and I know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get those things. Some are just out of my reach or aren't just up to me. Some require to cooperation and mutual understanding of others. Once they get on board...the "ship" can sail the high seas! ALL ABOARD!!!!!!


SN: Yes this entry was kinda sorta all over the place....but hey..so are my thoughts and feelings at the moment. It's like that sometimes.

Which one are you!?!

Sometimes it weird how things happen. Things fall into place or people show up and you just never seem to understand why. Everything happens for a reason...you just have to find the reason. Everybody isn't placed into your life for GOOD. Meaning two things....they may not be there permanently OR it could be that they are there to teach you a lesson. To show you what you DON'T need in your life. These people tend to only be around for a short period of time. You might question the experience, but know that it's definitely something good to be taken out of every negative experience or encounter. See below. You have to look at individuals involved in your life or just in your life and determine just which category do they belong in:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Boyz II Men/ Girlz II Women

It's a shame how childish people act at their ages. There are times to "play" and there are times to be serious. There also comes a time that you put the games away. Ladies: the jealousy, the side chick mentality, the backstabbing, the hoe like behavior.....none of that is EVER really age appropriate...but seriously, when you've gotten to the age of working and paying bills and doing what ADULTS do....the elementary school and high school tactics and activities need to be thrown out of the door. Why are you fighting and beefing over HIM...who has lied to HER about YOU and your position? Check him!!! When it's all said and done....you fight to win a loser!?!? Really though. Why are you playing head games with guys to get material things? For real though, why are you only going after guys who have material things? Yea, he has the hottest whip, he's iced up, all the latest Jordans....but he can barely count to 10. You can't take him to the company functions because he doesn't even own a suit...oh wait...yes he does...the one for court. Stop being so petty and stop chasing what glitters (or so you think)...there's far more to life and a MAN than what material things and monetary things he can provide. GUYS: Why are you at 35+ still trying to play the field?? It's time to retire from the game. You are no longer qualified to be a player. It's not cute. You jumping from this one to that one...refusing to commit...refusing to settle...so scared that you are going to miss the next jumpoff that comes your way. Reality check: it's going to be a lonely miserable life later on when the jumpoffs have GROWN up and wised up. When you are old and by your lonesome with nobody genuinely there to care and love you. Nope...keep the jumpoffs...they love spending social security checks. Growing up doesn't mean the fun has to stop....it means the fun has to change! You can't keep doing all of the things you USED to do. There's an age limit. It's time to it go.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water....

....but you damn sure can't make him drink. People are stubborn. They will do what they want despite warnings, past experiences, others accounts, etc. I've learned to stop even trying with some people. Just do you....but please don't come back to me with the why you let me do this or say that. I TRIED TO TOLD YOU!!! *in my David Banner voice* Some people are their own hurdles. You put yourself in the front of your own happiness by doing simple things. If you have to say "I know this is wrong", "This isn't like me", "This goes against what I've always said/done/know"...then you are already setting yourself up for failure. I'm not saying don't go out on a limb....I'm saying when you KNOW better and apparently you do....you DO better!

It also bothers me that people don't learn from their past mistakes or others. You say you want this or that....and then you run right back to the "light".....the headlights of a train about to cause a wreck in what is your life. What looks good to you isn't always good for you! You have to look at the bigger picture. What exactly is being contributed to you and your life? Anything worthwhile? Anything with longevity? If it's just temporary thrills and chills.....let it go. Real talk....you will miss out on the BEST trying to fool with what you think is BETTER than GOOD!

Everybody Look At Me

Where do I begin....today's post is brought to you in part by.... ATTENTION SEEKERS. I have come across TOO many examples of this in the last few days or mention of it that I just had to speak on it. Me personally, I don't like getting attention. I like to keep a low profile. I don't like getting 1000 compliments. I get my share (and although I'm working on it) I tend to find some way to downplay what is said. Them: "You are beautiful" Me: "I'm aighhttt". Don't get me wrong. My self esteem is fine. I don't think negatively of myself. I just don't think I'm above and beyond the norm. No I'm not ugly (not to me anyway, I'm sure somebody thinks so and hey...everybody is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions). But enough about me...I'm here to discuss those seeking attention. First and foremost you have those who act like they DON'T want attention but yet do things to bring it on themselves. For example, you posting half naked pics all over social networking sites but then you get mad when the type of attention you draw are sex hungry perverts who have not an inkling of respect. Well you put it all out there in your "advertisement" and now you have buyers....so what's the problem?

Then you have the 'damsel in distress' attention seekers. Always hurting something or something is always happening to them so that someone is supposed to cater to their need or want. So that someone will ask what is wrong, what happened, how did it happen. Get the f**k all the way outta here and WOMEN/MAN up....cuz indeed...males seek attention just like females. They just have different methods. They can play needy as hell too. Been there and done that. If I want a child...I'll have one...ya dig!?!?

There are also the ones who just are straight up thirsty. No shame type attention seekers. Just making yourself look desperate. Really!?!? Is it that serious? Please hit up your nears Walmart, Sams Club, BJs, Costco, Kmart...somewhere..they selling Powerade, Gatorade, and Water by the huge case. Why you running behind someone who doesn't want to be caught? Trust the attention you going to get in this situation will be very temporary. If you looking for something solid and with longevity..this is NOT the way to approach it. I saw this quote a few weeks ago..."If you treat a man like a celebrity he'll treat you like a fan. " This couldn't be anymore true. Yet you see it all the time.

I don't know..maybe it's just me and my modest ways...but I can't stand to see people just put themselves out there and looking foolish trying to get an ounce of attention. It's crazy. I put this up there with followers. Be your own person...why you chasing a fad? Someone else's dream or life? DO YOU!!! Nobody can do YOU better than YOU. Nobody can BE you...better than YOU.

Friendly Advice

"Friendly Advice"....the keyword is FRIEND. Advice - ad·vice/ədˈvīs/
Noun: Guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative. Some people offer advice on situations and circumstances that they have not been through or experienced. Some people like to give advice and never take the same advice and use it in their own life. Some advice is given maliciously to purposely lead to a negative outcome. None of this is really what I want to speak on. I'm talking about genuine advice from a FRIEND. Advice is not the law. A person does NOT have to do as another says or else...however what I don't get is when it's not even paid attention to. How many FRIENDS have to give you the same opinions, thoughts, concerns before you wake up and realize that there must be something to it. I've had so called friends stop talking to me...yea so called because obviously they were NOT friends because I simply gave my humble opinion on something they were doing or had done. Things that from the outside looking in just seemed shady/wrong/out of character.... and no I didn't expect these individuals just to DO what I suggested but to appreciate the fact that I came to THEM and discussed it would've made a little more sense than to "disappear"...go through with it and in 100% of the cases...pay the price that I could foresee. Trust and believe the situations that I am facing or may face that I involve my friends and their thoughts on the matter will be taken all in. Any and all thoughts will be listened to and taken for what they are worth. I can count on one hand the individuals who fall into this category, but believe me...if I keep hearing the same ultimate "advice" from all those in my inner circle....I'm paying VERY close attention because it is definitely SOMETHING in their message(s). I get to make the final decision on what path I choose to take but I am always willing to listen to the opinions of those very close to me. Who know me sometimes better than I know myself and won't let me stray from what I like and believe in. I see it all too often when it's too late to listen....when someone has convinced themselves that everybody else is wrong...people have to learn lessons the hard way...I get that...but listening to those close to you can keep away alot of stress, drama, and heartache in ALOT of cases.

Tired of the Usual

As the end of 2011 approaches, I reflect on the year thus far. 2011 was VERY different from last year. New job...new faces....new place to call home....new friends....new family. Overall the year was mostly good...but it's ending with alot of "change is needed" thoughts. Along with the new aspects comes the same ol' same. Routines, promises, environments, activities.....time to say enough is enough on some of them. As easily as I get bored, I definitely get tired of the "usual" quickly. Even if it's fun..it gets old. I've realized that certain situations are just not going to change. I don't want to be STUCK in the same spot any longer. No progression....no hope for change in sight. BLAH!!! New opportunities are slowly presenting themselves in various areas. Not that I have ignored them, I've just had some doubts. I've questioned the outcome way more than I probably should. Time to stop questioning and just see what is really what. What you don't know CAN hurt you!! 2012 is the start of a NEWER, FRESHER, more GET UP AND GRAB IT me. Done waiting and hoping for others to wise up and realize what could be....time to seize the moments.




** Very wise words.....words to live by **

Dust settles.....You Shouldn't!

This quote sums up a lot! For one...it basically says to DO YOU! Don't do things for the reaction and approval of others. It's all about YOU! Also...it says do what makes you happy. Trust me, in the long run...settling will NOT....and I repeat...WILL NOT make you happy. It's a temporary fix for a temporary feeling/issue/problem/discomfort. Don't settle in friendships, relationships, jobs, ...NOTHING! There is something and someone out there for everyone and when it's meant to fall into place. It will. Maybe you can see it and they can't....and vice versa but your light is indeed at the end of the tunnel.

As they say, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Best believe those who have been settled upon are there seasonally....and the reason...to teach you why you shouldn't settle. Realize your worth...stick to the plan. You know what you deserve and that's exactly what you should strive for. In fact....strive for BETTER than what you deserve. That is just the beginning. The bare minimum. It's a small world but it's plenty out there.....you just have to get out there....open your eyes and see that it's more than just this or that. Then open your heart, arms, and mind to receive said things. What's meant for you..is for you!!

Online Foolishness

Okay...let me just jump right in on this one.  It's bad enough that you have to deal with spam, phishing, viruses and the like when you get on the internet. Some of which...I still just don't get it.  I'm pretty internet and computer savvy...it's one thing to want to try to STEAL info so that you can get credit card #s and what not to try and gain something....but to just pass out viruses that only mess up others (strangers) computers with nothing but gratification that you succeeded.....pretty lame to me!  You also have people who grow an "extra set" because they are behind computers.   Being super bold...posting this and that but knowing good and well that if they were REALLY facing whomever or whatever they are so called going off about....it would NOT go down like that.   The internet has given some people a false sense of reality.  They are trying to live out lives ONLINE that they can't and never have OFFLINE.   The lies and fake personas online are a trip.  Especially when you encounter it with people that you do know in real life.   You know what they do and how they get down in their day to day life and then you see them posting talking a "good game".   Using words and slang that they DO not use in true to life conversation.   I don't get it....what is there to gain by being an online fraud.  I guess it's amusing but it develops FALSE relationships...and who wants those?  DESPERATE MUCH!?!?!        

Now...the other online pet peeve I have....why is it that individuals think that everybody is online looking for love.  That EVERY site is eHarmony or Match.com!?!?   I mean I'm sure plenty of people ARE online for that reason...but some aren't.  In some instances...it happens unexpectedly.  I can vouch for that.... but I for one am not using any of these social networking sites but anything more than a cure for boredom, keeping in touch with old and current friends, games, information, and entertainment.   In some instances, I have even clearly stated that I am not LOOKING for anything.   SMH....the boldness of some people is ridiculous to me.  Did you really hit me up saying you want to get to know me so that we can be "friends with benefits"???SAY WHAT???  (True Story) I am clearly not who or what you are looking for, Boo Boo.  Take that b.s. to the left...to the left..... You get a "Hi" and then the next message is "do you think we can exchange #s"?   NO PSYCHOPATH!!!!   Should I tell you where I work, my address, my SS#, give you the hiding place to my extra set of keys, etc etc?   I mean hell...you might as well ask me for that.  You do NOT know me from a simple hi.   Clearly you are going off of looks alone....ERROR #1.   It just burns me up.    It sucks to have to  limit your online interaction because of idiots who just want to seek jumpoffs or the like.        FALL BACK a little......geez!      

Wanting more....

You ever buy food from one place but wish you had part of the meal from some place else? Like you buy a Whopper meal but you can't stand Burger King French Fries and wish you had fries from McDonalds? Or you get a gift set but it is missing one item that you wish was in it and the one with that item has other things that you do not want. I totally feel this way right about now about alot of things.....but just like the examples above, I realize that in order to get the "more"....you have to go ELSEWHERE. If it's not where you are, then you have to go where it is. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice what you do have or move on to get to what you really want. Early morning thoughts......headache for days....but I realize it's time to cut some losses and go for what I truly deserve and want. No more half stepping...no more settli....hmmm nope I stopped settling a long time ago...it's more like accepting less than I am due. I could do better and I will do better. True happiness is something I want....and I haven't felt an inkling of that in a LONGGGG time. Going through the things I've been through...overcoming so many obstacles and bad things all the time....I'm overdue for happiness. Overdue for REAL people and things in my corner. Done pacifying losers and half a** so called friends. Done dealing with unnecessary stresses in life. Now I'm out for SELF...time to work on Toya. When I get my own self together...then I can find someone to supplement me! To make me even better. A better half.............yea (it all LOOKS and SOUNDS good on the screen....let's see if I can make this thing a reality)

To be continued......