New Thoughts

Thought for today:   Letting go of the past, will make for a much better future.

   No more waiting around for people to grow up and come to their senses.  Waiting around for people to appreciate me and the things I've said and done for them.  My life has changed, but it's not over.   To all those who have caused me pain/hurt or THOUGHT that you did....you are forgiven but best believe those wrong doings are not forgotten.  I still know that being honest is the best way and I will continue to be honest when it counts.  Lies feed on lies...and I don't have the time or patience to keep up with lies.   I still keep other people before me....and I look out for others..even when they don't look out for me....so letting go of the past...is something I will do.    Some people will come around and others won't. To those that don't....it's been real.  You'll need me before I need you.   Best believe!!!! 

I don't have time for it..

Pet Peeves -- I don't have time for it...
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life



There are certain things that people who know me know I just can't stand. Nobody should. Things that I don't know why people do them. For instance, lying is a big issue with me anywayz...but why do people lie when there is nothing to gain from the lie. I can see lying to get out of doing something or to gain something...but to just tell lie after lie just to hear yourself talk. I can't stand that s**t. I swear more and more I been dealing with that.

Next....being inconsiderate. People must not think that other people's time, money, or efforts are of value to them. I know mine is, so don't waste my time. If you know something has changed, will change, etc....let me know. Don't have me missing out, waiting around, etc because you don't have the decency or the common sense to hit me up to say something. Yea I might be a bit upset because things changed...but I gotta respect the fact that I have been given ADVANCE notice of the change. But best believe, if I gotta deal with drama or I could've done something else with my time, money, or efforts but I was basing my actions on something you said you were gonna do or need...and then you don't come through on your end.....IM GOING TO BE HEATED!!!! Especially when you KNOW I hate the s**t. It's not funny..it's not a game. Don't waste my time or yours...seriously. I have things to do or that I can do instead of waiting around for dead weight.

Playing games in general. Please don't think I'm stupid, because I am not. Even when you athink I'm falling for it...I'm NOT! I'm a step ahead of you and probably beating you at your own game. BELIEVE THAT!

There are a few other things I can't stand...slow drivers, people who don't signal....but these 3 things have been going on in `07 kinda strong and felt I had to speak on it.

To those few of you who do not do these things or have NOT done these things. THANKS!!! That's why I keep you around!

Day I Won't Forget (still haven't forgotten)

It's been 10 years......10 years since I wrote this..and 10 years since this day occurred (give or take 12 days).....but it still feels fresh on the brain. So I'm reposting this poem (as well as a few others from my past).....keeping the thoughts alive!!!

Day I Won't Forget

It was a day that started great
And ended very wild
No day like this ever existed for me
Not even as a child

The events of the day
Really started years before
Because of certain circumstances
That left alot of hearts sore

The love had been so great then
Before the year of change
When lives were destroyed
When thoughts and feelings got rearranged

On this day alot of feelings
Were lost and seemed not there
Because of the letter I wrote 2 months ago
It might've appeared I didn't care

Two months we hadn't spoken
But I saw you the day before
As me and my homegirl were cruising
And we passed by the store

Had I known then
What would go down this night
When asked if I wanted to stop
I wouldn't have said "nah, that's aight"

But this day I was hangin out
New friends I was making
But around eleven o'clock at night
I learned, your own life you had taken

People say I'm holding it all in
Because I've never cried
"You two were so close"
But my feelings I didn't hide

Some things we can not change
Like to whom we are born
So we must accept what happens
And keep moving on 

A poem that I wrote

Just a little something I wrote...written BY me and needs to stay that way.  Its copyright protected biznitches...so let me find it elsewhere...and best believe...there will be penalties to pay.   Anyhow...please post your comments and also help me come up with a title.  Whoever has the best title...uhhhh I'll come up with some kinda prize. LOL

 

UNTITLED (as of right now)...

 

Where do I begin, explaining all the things that are on my mind

From the future that I want to make with you, to the things I want to leave behind

The feelings that I have are strong and I don't want to hold them back

Because if you don't go after what u want, you'll never know…my mama taught me that

See you're the kind of guy that I could see myself with for the rest of my life

Take trips around the world, hold each other down, and be your perfect, devoted wife

But being with me, you must understand that there are certain things you must know

Life has dealt me a helluva hand, and there's plenty more game to go

See my King of Spades turned out to be the Big Joker and that caused a lot of pain

This Queen of Hearts tunked out and had to start all over again

Yea life is like a game but know that I am not to be played

Many thought that was a good idea, biggest mistake they ever made

I know everybody has their issues…that's definitely nothing new

It takes true love, understanding, devotion, and compassion to make it through

But from the first time I set eyes on you, I knew you were who I wanted to be with

They say there's no such thing as "love at first sight", shit….I know that it's not a myth

Spending time with you for some reason is different, I feel mad comfortable and safe

Like I can let my guard down and that in me you have faith

I don't know if I am the total package of the type of girl that you desire

But you definitely fit the mold for my perfect man, and it's you that I admire

Not checking for nobody else, determined to make you mine

Hoping you can look past my imperfections and give me a little bit of your time

Let me show you why I'm worth a shot, I'll only need 1 attempt

To prove to you I am the perfect 1 for the job and make the other applicants exempt

 

T.I. knew what he was talking about...

..when he said "U Don't Know Me". It's crazy how you think you know somebody and then something comes up or what not and their TRUE persona shines through. People talk a good game, walk a good one...but push come to shove...everything comes to light. But just like I might THINK I know someone...they obviously don't know ME either. People always trying to get over and think they are getting over, life is too short for the bull*ish*. I'm sick of having people in my corner just taking up space. You aren't doing either of us a favor by perpetrating. Be yourself. Got a problem with me, mine, or anything pertaining to me..then STEP! Don't think that I NEED you, because believe me... I don't. Life goes on, I'ma still inhale, exhale, eat, sleep, and shit...with or without you around. It's 2007 and people still on some immature, kiddie *ish*. Let's GROW up and act our ages people.

Doing right..

Alot of times doing the right thing is often times the hardest option.  But it's the BEST thing to do.  Despite the immediate consequence(s)....it'll make you feel better deep down inside instead of letting it eat at your soul and well being. If others can't appreciate you for doing what's right, then they will have to deal with that on their conscience...not you. Especially if you are looking out for them in the process and not for selfish reasons.            

So doing the right thing .... is right....right!?!?   

To You...

To You

To You I'd give my last
And ask nothing in return
To You I'd tell my secrets
Without one worry or concern

To You I'd give my right hand
And hold you up when you're down
To You I'd listen from beginning to end
Without making a single sound

To You I'd dedicate my life
At the drop of a dime, if you would ask
To You I'd lend all of my strength
No matter what the job or task

To You I'd give ALL that I own
Boost your name like you were a hero
But these are all thoughts that will never be
Because To You..I mean zero 

It's Gettin' Hot In Here!........

This heat is no joke. Today is going to be the hottest day of the year so far. Me and heat do NOT get along at all. Sad thing is, here at work it stays about 60 degrees at my desk. When I leave work, the blazing heat inside my car feels good for about 10 mins. That's how cold I am all day. In fact, I have my heating pad at work...just to lay it in my lap all day for some warmth. As much as all this equipment blows the circuits...no need in even attempting to bring a heater up in here.

 

I am off tomorrow. I am so glad. I feel the need to take like a day a week. I haven't completely figured out my weekend yet. So much up in the air stuff. Then its supposed to rain/storm like every evening, so that might have some kind of effect on the evening plans.

 

Talked to {name removed} a little bit last night. He had kind of been m.i.a. for a minute. After like 5 years of dealing with him, I am used to that. Since he's far away, of course it gets worse. That's still my though!! Through thick and thin. Been going strong with him for so long. Gonna take alot to turn me totally against him. Believe me, there has been some instances that I came close from walking away from our friend/relation-ship. But after giving things alot of thought, something always brings me back. I still keep my guards up though....that never changes.

 

I have another confusing situation going on in my life.....I know I can be difficult because I don't just express or share specifics about my life to a lot of people...but I mean I've run into people way more confusing to me. I don't know what are jokes, what is serious, what is just saying something to be saying it. I'm sure some people think the same in dealing with me. But generally...even my jokes are true thoughts and/or feelings. Like everything else...ima let this situation with this person play its course. I think its gonna lead to something though. We shall see.

 

I am still craving Slurpees®. I haven't had one in a minute though. I have been settling for Icees..which are NOT the same at all. 

98% Better

I have been kinda M.I.A lately. Not only due to technical issues (which are now the past due to a new computer...well nused computer that I copped)....but due to being ill for a week. I have not been this sick in forever. I had a ball the weekend of June 9th-11th. Every day was interesting and fun. Went clubbin'....had company....never a dull moment. But Monday...it all hit me like a ton of bricks. From top to bottom I was falling apart. I have just finished 1 of the 2 antibiotics I am on....and I am feeling pretty good...and I finally returned to both jobs on Friday. I wasn't my best. I stopped having to take Tylenol for pain on Saturday. *knock on wood* and now I am only dealing with intermittent pain in my right ear. Yea, ear infection in BOTH ears is part of what I was dealing with. Right side was like death to me. It still is bothering me some. I forgot to put some drops in there this morning because last night it seemed like it wanted to start back up.

 

So as a result of my feeling ill, I decided to stay in this past weekend. I sat in the house and didn't go outside until Sunday. It was kinda like torture because I reallyyyyy wanted to go out this weekend too. But hey, I got my priorities straight. I wasn't about to be back out and getting ill. My niece was over all weekend being her grown self...so it wasn't so bad.

 

This coming week I hope to get back to 100%. I want to go see "Waist Deep" maybe on Friday and then Sat. I plan on going to the Stone Soul Music and Food Festival. I want to get there when it starts around 12, but my mom wants to go also and she won't get off Saturday until 3 pm. So I'm not really sure how I'm gonna work that out. I'm gonna have to figure something out.

 

Hump Day!

Wednesday..needs to be Friday already. I am tired. Don't really know why. Even though it's Wednesday I feel like the week is dragging. Tuesday was very long. Work is insane. Full time that is. Too much unnecessary b.s. going on for me. I'm ready to be OUT!! I'm trying. God knows I am. Get a career job...that I deserve. Put my business degree to use.

Going out this weekend. FINALLY! Been almost 5 months. Can you believe it? Miss Party Animal...Club Patron has been chillin'. That's aight. Getting the crew together and gonna have a ball. Just like old times. And I can NOT wait. Get my mind off the things that are currently sitting there...nagging at me. I'm back on a 'what if' and 'should I' kick. It's all good.

I am tryna go somewhere soon...some kinda vacation. Just gotta figure out where I want to go. Something small to start will do. Heck, I'd be content with a theme park. Not that I really ride rides like that...but its not sitting at home. Which can get seriously old.

Next year is my 10 yr high school reunion. It is so hard to believe. Me and my ex best friend (yea ex best friend..we cool..but not tight like we used to be) have taken it upon ourselves to be in charge of this because those who were supposed to be in charge of it are slacking. We have pitched around a few ideas and are trying to get an early start on it. The Class of 96 got a late start and had way too much drama in their planning process and we are trying out bet to eliminate any drama that we can.

Well time to do some work.....if anything comes up that means anything or that I care to drop in and speak on, then I shall return.