Friendly Advice

"Friendly Advice"....the keyword is FRIEND. Advice - ad·vice/ədˈvīs/
Noun: Guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative. Some people offer advice on situations and circumstances that they have not been through or experienced. Some people like to give advice and never take the same advice and use it in their own life. Some advice is given maliciously to purposely lead to a negative outcome. None of this is really what I want to speak on. I'm talking about genuine advice from a FRIEND. Advice is not the law. A person does NOT have to do as another says or else...however what I don't get is when it's not even paid attention to. How many FRIENDS have to give you the same opinions, thoughts, concerns before you wake up and realize that there must be something to it. I've had so called friends stop talking to me...yea so called because obviously they were NOT friends because I simply gave my humble opinion on something they were doing or had done. Things that from the outside looking in just seemed shady/wrong/out of character.... and no I didn't expect these individuals just to DO what I suggested but to appreciate the fact that I came to THEM and discussed it would've made a little more sense than to "disappear"...go through with it and in 100% of the cases...pay the price that I could foresee. Trust and believe the situations that I am facing or may face that I involve my friends and their thoughts on the matter will be taken all in. Any and all thoughts will be listened to and taken for what they are worth. I can count on one hand the individuals who fall into this category, but believe me...if I keep hearing the same ultimate "advice" from all those in my inner circle....I'm paying VERY close attention because it is definitely SOMETHING in their message(s). I get to make the final decision on what path I choose to take but I am always willing to listen to the opinions of those very close to me. Who know me sometimes better than I know myself and won't let me stray from what I like and believe in. I see it all too often when it's too late to listen....when someone has convinced themselves that everybody else is wrong...people have to learn lessons the hard way...I get that...but listening to those close to you can keep away alot of stress, drama, and heartache in ALOT of cases.

Tired of the Usual

As the end of 2011 approaches, I reflect on the year thus far. 2011 was VERY different from last year. New job...new faces....new place to call home....new friends....new family. Overall the year was mostly good...but it's ending with alot of "change is needed" thoughts. Along with the new aspects comes the same ol' same. Routines, promises, environments, activities.....time to say enough is enough on some of them. As easily as I get bored, I definitely get tired of the "usual" quickly. Even if it's fun..it gets old. I've realized that certain situations are just not going to change. I don't want to be STUCK in the same spot any longer. No progression....no hope for change in sight. BLAH!!! New opportunities are slowly presenting themselves in various areas. Not that I have ignored them, I've just had some doubts. I've questioned the outcome way more than I probably should. Time to stop questioning and just see what is really what. What you don't know CAN hurt you!! 2012 is the start of a NEWER, FRESHER, more GET UP AND GRAB IT me. Done waiting and hoping for others to wise up and realize what could be....time to seize the moments.




** Very wise words.....words to live by **

Dust settles.....You Shouldn't!

This quote sums up a lot! For one...it basically says to DO YOU! Don't do things for the reaction and approval of others. It's all about YOU! Also...it says do what makes you happy. Trust me, in the long run...settling will NOT....and I repeat...WILL NOT make you happy. It's a temporary fix for a temporary feeling/issue/problem/discomfort. Don't settle in friendships, relationships, jobs, ...NOTHING! There is something and someone out there for everyone and when it's meant to fall into place. It will. Maybe you can see it and they can't....and vice versa but your light is indeed at the end of the tunnel.

As they say, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Best believe those who have been settled upon are there seasonally....and the reason...to teach you why you shouldn't settle. Realize your worth...stick to the plan. You know what you deserve and that's exactly what you should strive for. In fact....strive for BETTER than what you deserve. That is just the beginning. The bare minimum. It's a small world but it's plenty out there.....you just have to get out there....open your eyes and see that it's more than just this or that. Then open your heart, arms, and mind to receive said things. What's meant for you..is for you!!

Online Foolishness

Okay...let me just jump right in on this one.  It's bad enough that you have to deal with spam, phishing, viruses and the like when you get on the internet. Some of which...I still just don't get it.  I'm pretty internet and computer savvy...it's one thing to want to try to STEAL info so that you can get credit card #s and what not to try and gain something....but to just pass out viruses that only mess up others (strangers) computers with nothing but gratification that you succeeded.....pretty lame to me!  You also have people who grow an "extra set" because they are behind computers.   Being super bold...posting this and that but knowing good and well that if they were REALLY facing whomever or whatever they are so called going off about....it would NOT go down like that.   The internet has given some people a false sense of reality.  They are trying to live out lives ONLINE that they can't and never have OFFLINE.   The lies and fake personas online are a trip.  Especially when you encounter it with people that you do know in real life.   You know what they do and how they get down in their day to day life and then you see them posting talking a "good game".   Using words and slang that they DO not use in true to life conversation.   I don't get it....what is there to gain by being an online fraud.  I guess it's amusing but it develops FALSE relationships...and who wants those?  DESPERATE MUCH!?!?!        

Now...the other online pet peeve I have....why is it that individuals think that everybody is online looking for love.  That EVERY site is eHarmony or Match.com!?!?   I mean I'm sure plenty of people ARE online for that reason...but some aren't.  In some instances...it happens unexpectedly.  I can vouch for that.... but I for one am not using any of these social networking sites but anything more than a cure for boredom, keeping in touch with old and current friends, games, information, and entertainment.   In some instances, I have even clearly stated that I am not LOOKING for anything.   SMH....the boldness of some people is ridiculous to me.  Did you really hit me up saying you want to get to know me so that we can be "friends with benefits"???SAY WHAT???  (True Story) I am clearly not who or what you are looking for, Boo Boo.  Take that b.s. to the left...to the left..... You get a "Hi" and then the next message is "do you think we can exchange #s"?   NO PSYCHOPATH!!!!   Should I tell you where I work, my address, my SS#, give you the hiding place to my extra set of keys, etc etc?   I mean hell...you might as well ask me for that.  You do NOT know me from a simple hi.   Clearly you are going off of looks alone....ERROR #1.   It just burns me up.    It sucks to have to  limit your online interaction because of idiots who just want to seek jumpoffs or the like.        FALL BACK a little......geez!      

Wanting more....

You ever buy food from one place but wish you had part of the meal from some place else? Like you buy a Whopper meal but you can't stand Burger King French Fries and wish you had fries from McDonalds? Or you get a gift set but it is missing one item that you wish was in it and the one with that item has other things that you do not want. I totally feel this way right about now about alot of things.....but just like the examples above, I realize that in order to get the "more"....you have to go ELSEWHERE. If it's not where you are, then you have to go where it is. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice what you do have or move on to get to what you really want. Early morning thoughts......headache for days....but I realize it's time to cut some losses and go for what I truly deserve and want. No more half stepping...no more settli....hmmm nope I stopped settling a long time ago...it's more like accepting less than I am due. I could do better and I will do better. True happiness is something I want....and I haven't felt an inkling of that in a LONGGGG time. Going through the things I've been through...overcoming so many obstacles and bad things all the time....I'm overdue for happiness. Overdue for REAL people and things in my corner. Done pacifying losers and half a** so called friends. Done dealing with unnecessary stresses in life. Now I'm out for SELF...time to work on Toya. When I get my own self together...then I can find someone to supplement me! To make me even better. A better half.............yea (it all LOOKS and SOUNDS good on the screen....let's see if I can make this thing a reality)

To be continued......

To Whom It May Concern

I am still alive and kickin'. This heat is no joke. Heat indexes around 115 and 120 daily is a bit much. It's truly HELL ON EARTH right now. Life is life. Still grinding and maintaining to try and keep my head above water. Still living and learning every single day. Nothing super new and exciting to report unfortunately. Just figured I'd check in to the blog world since it had been a minute. I'll hopefully have a little more to say the next go round. Until then....peace and love my fellow bloggers, blog readers, and nosey a$$es! XOXO

It's time....

No better time than NOW to do the things that I want and need to do. After all of the things that I've been going through and dealing with and what is going on around me, I realize that it's time to stop putting things off. The trips I want to take, the ideas I have, the activities I want to partake in....yep...time to get it cracking. No more waiting on other people to get off their high horses or to make time to do what they SAY they are going to do. I have to do what I need to do for ME!!! Numero UNO! If I don't look out for me...who will!?!? Besides God of course.

Alot of things are beyond my control but those that aren't...there are no excuses as to why I can't go after them. Seize the moment. I look back a year ago and I was doing things that I had been putting off forever. Did it all turn out how I wanted? Of course not. Was it worth it? Yes If I could go back, would I change a thing? Nope because I got out of my element and went outside the normal box I stay in and I took a step or two towards CHANGE! Time to get back to that mindset. Stop letting the lack of motivation or action of others bring me to that exact same level. No more waiting around......it's time to make something happen. You either have to get with me or get out of my way!!!! I've been in my OWN way for far too long. If I have to take this road alone...then hey....I guess that's just what I will have to do!

I Got An Award......

So I had been doing well on blogging and have once again gotten caught up in this thing called life and have almost gone a month without a post, however, lil miss Sauniya' felt that I deserved the Best Blog Award. Thank you!!!!! *cheesing*




Well upon winning this award I have to:

Share seven random things about myself
1.I could eat potatoes every day!
2.I have always wished I had a twin sister.
3.I'm not scared of snakes but I am scared of moths.
4.I get bored SUPER easy!
5.I would love to live on a farm.
6.I wish I was short.
7.I hate being late!!! It makes my blood boil!!! lol


Pass the award to 15 bloggers (click on the manes)
In My Thoughts ** Magnificent Beauty ** She's So Flyy ** ...So She Writes ** A Fiesty Girls Manifesta ** .♥. The Mystery of Me .♥. ** ★☆Starrla Monae★☆ ** MelDenise Says.. ** ill; kinda ** El'Aundra ** Black.Girl.Thoughts ** Juggling: Life of a Single Black Woman ** Heart Flows ** Miss Nics Elegant Edge ** Hairlicious Inc.

Answer the following questions
Favorite colour: magenta
Favorite song: All I Need ~ Mary J and Method Man
Favourite dessert: Peach Cobbler
Biggest pet peeve: LATENESS
When you are upset, you: be to myself/read
Your favorite pet: I want a monkey..but Jigga (my dog) is my fav
Black or white: Black
Biggest Fear: Being alone
Best feature: My eyes
Everyday attitude: If you keep it real with me..I'll keep it real with you!
What is perfection: Happiness
Guilty pleasure: Ice Cream....Sunflower seeds (crazy I know..not together though)

Dear Summer

Dear Summer,

I write to you today to let you know that although you are welcome on your PLANNED arrival date of the 21st of this month, it appears you are being very impatient and have already sent some of your "luggage" ahead of time. Your sun, heat, and storms have been creating quite a stir for a few weeks now. Although I love the time of year in which you make your way into town, sometimes the things you bring with you are not as welcomed. I am not sure where you are right now because I would gladly send you your "luggage" back and maybe you could pack a new set of things to bring along with you. Please don't take any of this the wrong way! I don't want any trouble when you do get here! I know how it is to want to go somewhere and being impatient, but we are trying to enjoy Spring right now. We haven't seen much of "her" in the last few years because you have rained on her parade and decided to hit the area sooner than you were scheduled to. Please be patient and KIND. It's only fair. Trust me, I love seeing you way more than your cousin Winter. The snow, sleet, and ice she brings is the absolute worst. I know you can agree since you 2 do NOT get along and are never seen together. They say opposites attract but I guess not in the case of you two. But anyway, I'll see you on the 21st of June. And not a day sooner.....RIGHT!?!?

P.S. Could you bring me a vacation also?? Thanks in advance!

Move....Get Out The Way

You ever feel like the world and everything and everybody else around you are moving but you aren't!?!? Like everyone else is making progress in life but you are just at a standstill. That's where I am right now. Like even with all the changes I've dealt with and experienced in a matter of a few months, nothing really is different. Same ol NOTHINGNESS! Not even sure if this is the best way to describe it. Not one to knock anybody elses hustle or movement, I say if you can move...MOVE. I'm just impatiently awaiting my turn I guess you could say. Maybe it's just me. The opportunities that seem to present themselves to me tend to be those of which I don't want to partake in or deal with. Most are those in which I have faced before and I don't see how going down that road again will lead to anything GOOD if it didn't the first time. Could this be what's halting my movement? Maybe....I could very well be the anchor that's keeping me in one spot. A spot I no longer desire to be at. I'm ready to MOVE!!! The song says..."move if you wanna...."...well I want to! Just wondering who's going to move with me!